Family Matters: No Matter How You Define It

By Paul LaPiana, Head of Product at MassMutual

How has the definition of family evolved?

Well, recent research by The Council for Disability Awareness founding member, MassMutual, surfaced more similarities than differences regarding how people described family, no matter how you sliced the data. Regardless of age, parental status, ethnicity, race, gender identity, orientation or sibling status, the research found seven key elements that describe what family means to us:

All you need is love

Overwhelmingly across the board, love—not shared DNA—is the top word that sparks the meaning of family.

Friends—and pets—are family you choose

A majority (71 percent) include close friends in their personal definition of family, followed by pets (said 55 percent).In older age groups, however, the majority (69 percent) believe a spouse, partner, significant other or child will be the primary person to care for them. And those folks are correct. According to the Family Caregiver Alliance, older caregivers are more likely to care for their spouse or partner.

Tell someone you trust

From passwords to insurance policies to financial accounts, roughly half of Americans (47 percent) trust their spouse, partner or significant other with information about the whereabouts of their most important documents. (Thankfully, only 14 percent responded that no one else knows where their important documents are.)

Leave your mark

The majority (53 percent) occasionally think about their legacy or how they want to be remembered. Surprisingly, 27 percent never think about it.

More than two-thirds (69 percent) of Americans say they most want to be remembered for the memories they’ve shared with loved ones, according to a 2019 survey conducted by by Merrill Lynch and Age Wave.

Dream big

For most (59 percent), future hopes and dreams was the most talked about topic at home when growing up, beating out discussions about going to college, financial situation and challenges, and physical, emotional and spiritual health and wellness.

And of the few differences:

Nontraditional is the new traditional

Their most trusted individual is someone not related by blood, adoption or marriage, said 65 percent of Americans, except those in their 60s and 70s are more on the fence (at 49 percent).

Chosen family emerges

Lesbians, gay and bisexual individuals, only children, and those in their 20s and 30s tend to use the expression “chosen family” to describe people unrelated by blood, marriage or adoption whom they feel very close to.

So what does the definition of family have to do with the topic of disability?

To start, it underscores that the choice is yours of who you bring into your personal circle of trust, and acknowledges that blood relations do not define who will be there for you, and who you should ‘show up’ for.

It also signals a personal responsibility to take care of yourself and those you care about so you can ‘show up’ for each other.

Think broadly – we’re not talking about just your physical health, but your financial health, as well.

If anyone relies on you financially, what would happen if your income stream stopped from an injury or illness? Are you finally prepared for that possibility (and it’s higher than you think).

There are ways to prepare.

If you haven’t given this any thought, there’s no better day than today to start.